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	<title>HeywoodGould.com &#187; George Nelson</title>
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		<title>MY CAREER AS A PETTY THIEF/PART EIGHT/Part One</title>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 10 Feb 2010 18:02:04 +0000</pubDate>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://heywoodgould.com/pages/?p=241</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I GET AN &#8220;EDGE&#8221; PART ONE It&#8217;s 1961 and Brooklyn is a living, breathing Antiques Road Show. We&#8217;re sitting on trillions and don&#8217;t know it. Everything in my parents&#8217; house&#8211;from the fiesta ware, the Heywood Wakefield furniture, oriental figurines, candy dishes, Nelson clocks, Danish lamps, silver serving spoons from the &#8220;old country&#8221;&#8211;will be a classic [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p align="center"><font color="#e2e2e2">I GET AN &#8220;EDGE&#8221;<br />
PART ONE</font></p>
<p class="p1"><font color="#e2e2e2"><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>It&#8217;s 1961 and Brooklyn is a living, breathing <em>Antiques Road Show</em>. We&#8217;re sitting on trillions and don&#8217;t know it. Everything in my parents&#8217; house&#8211;from the fiesta ware, the Heywood Wakefield furniture,<span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>oriental figurines, candy dishes, <span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>Nelson clocks, Danish lamps,<span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>silver serving spoons from the &#8220;old country&#8221;&#8211;will be a classic collectible in the future.<span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>My tipsy uncle careens around our cluttered living room. &#8220;Better not break anything, Sammy&#8230;&#8221; my mother warns. &#8220;Why don&#8217;t you get rid of this junk?&#8221; he yells back.</font></p>
<p class="p1"><font color="#e2e2e2"><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>The streets are lined with cars that in thirty years will be bid up to a half a million by Saudi sheiks.<span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>Now they&#8217;re just &#8220;lemons&#8221; with lousy brakes that won&#8217;t start in cold weather.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></font></p>
<p class="p1"><font color="#e2e2e2"><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>I give an elderly neighbor<span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>$350 for his 1957 Chevy Bel Air,<span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>I hate its mint green color so I pay Earl Sheib $39.95 to paint it black. I hate driving its &#8220;three on the shaft,&#8221; and burn out the clutch. I park it with the doors and windows open on a dark street alongside Prospect Park, notorious haunt of thieves and muggers. In a year, a vandal&#8211; or anonymous ill-wisher&#8211; will flip a lit cigarette through the back window and turn the car into a fireball.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></font></p>
<p class="p1"><font color="#e2e2e2"><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>Today, a &#8217;57 Bel Air is worth between $55,000 and 100,000.00</font></p>
<p class="p1"><font color="#e2e2e2"><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>My grandfather leaves me a battered leather box full of silver dollar and half dollar pieces that he had been collecting since 1928. I use them to buy gas and cigarettes when I&#8217;m short of cash. In a year I&#8217;m down to one silver dollar, which I save for good luck.</font></p>
<p class="p1"><font color="#e2e2e2"><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>Estimated value: $100K.</font></p>
<p class="p1"><font color="#e2e2e2"><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>I have been an obsessive game player since childhood. At the age of eight I was flipping baseball cards with my friends.<span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>Closest to the wall won. &#8220;Topping&#8221; or landing on top of another card won two cards. A &#8220;leaner,&#8221; or leaning a card against the wall brought in three. Between flipping and trading I amassed a complete set of Topps cards. Plus I had the lineups of the 1952 Brooklyn Dodgers, New York Yankees and New York Giants right down to the coaches. I would lay them on my bed and replay the games for hours.</font></p>
<p class="p1"><font color="#e2e2e2"><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>At the age of ten I took up marbles. We dug holes in the dirt called &#8220;pots.&#8221; You had to roll into the pot first and then roll out to hit and win the opponent&#8217;s marble.<span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>I wore bald spots into the knees of my corduroy pants, but won over two hundred &#8220;pee wees, immies and puries&#8221; &#8211;classic marbles which have avid collectors all over the world.</font></p>
<p class="p1"><font color="#e2e2e2"><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>In 1963 when I move in with a woman eight years older than me my mother goes on a ritual rampage to erase my presence.<span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>She boils my sheets, gives my clothes, books and records away and chucks everything else she finds in my room, including a shoebox full of the Topps baseball cards, a bowling bag where I keep hundreds of marbles and my collection of 150 Classic Comics, which had been gathering dust under my bed.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></font></p>
<p class="p1"><font color="#e2e2e2"><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>Estimated value 75 to 100 grand.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></font></p>
<p class="p1"><font color="#e2e2e2"><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>My new obsession is chess. It entered me like a virus at the same time I got my draft card and realized I would have to stay in college forever to avoid the military. My every waking thought is devoted to openings and variations. I dream games in which the perfect move appears to me and the onlookers applaud. I study books on strategy, memorize the famous games and read about the great eccentric champions&#8211;Alekhine, Capobianco, Bobby Fisher, the Brooklyn <em>wunderkind .</em>The sight of a checker board tile floor sends me into a trance in which I stare at the squares visualizing moves.</font></p>
<p class="p1"><font color="#e2e2e2"><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>My life is now about marking time until I can play chess. In the morning I doze through my classes at Brooklyn College. In the afternoon I move bodies and direct mourners at the Riverside Memorial Chapel. At ten in the evening my day begins. Still in my undertaker&#8217;s black suit I drive across the Brooklyn Bridge to Washington Square Park in Greenwich Village. I pull into the first open spot, knowing I will return to find one or two parking tickets, flapping like trapped pigeons on my windshield.<span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>Under the street lamps in the southwestern part of the park, a crowd has gathered to watch the chess players. From early spring to late fall, the games are on, 24-7. There are about thirty stone tables, the boards etched into their tops, each manned by a &#8220;strong&#8221; player. By tacit consent the best ones have the tables closest to the street lights. The weaker players, derisively known as &#8220;patzers,&#8221; are consigned to tables in semi darkness on the outskirts.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></font></p>
<p class="p1"><font color="#e2e2e2"><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>The dominant players act with more privileged disdain than any movie star or billionaire I will ever meet. There is Duval, an elderly Haitian in dark suit, streetlight gleaming off his smooth brown pate, who sets up ornate ivory pieces and a chess clock and<span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>dispatches all comers at a dollar a twenty minute game. &#8220;Fish!&#8221; he cries, slapping down the pieces. &#8220;You lose!&#8221; <span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>Next to him is Jimmy, hunched and intense with<span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>prematurely gray Toscanini hair. Five dollars for unlimited time, but when the loser makes a bad move he mutters &#8220;blunder,&#8221; and forces him to resign. There is Joe &#8220;the Russian.&#8221; Bald with a drooping gray mustache, he puffs furiously on Parliament cigarettes as he bullies his opponents. &#8220;Stupid move, <em>patzer .</em>Don&#8217;t insult my intelligence&#8230;&#8221; And Fritz, a massive black dude with a full beard, who analyzes every move. &#8220;You think I&#8217;m gonna do this so you can do that, but I&#8217;m gonna do this and you can&#8217;t do nothin&#8217; about it&#8230;&#8221;<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></font></p>
<p class="p1"><font color="#e2e2e2"><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>Every other game has an element of the miraculous. You can throw up a buzzer beater that bounces off the rim and drops in. Hit a ball off the handle<span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>that just clears the infield to score the winning run.<span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>You can make a crazy shot and sink the nine ball. Or draw a Royal Flush and beat a lock poker player. But chess is unforgiving.<span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>There are no lucky moves.<span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>The better player wins every time. The hustlers in the park know this so they can afford to be arrogant. When a player sits down and says &#8220;I&#8217;ve been watching you. I know your weaknesses,&#8221; they can roar back &#8220;I have no weaknesses!&#8221; And trounce him in twenty moves.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></font></p>
<p class="p1"><font color="#e2e2e2"><span class="Apple-tab-span">	</span>I am determined to get better. For months I neglect my school work, stop seeing my friends and don&#8217;t open letters from<span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>Selective Service, probably scheduling my Army physical. I<span class="Apple-converted-space">  </span>immerse myself in chess, studying during the day and playing all night. A girl I know comes and sits next to me, joining the girlfriends of some of the other players in what is at that point an all-male obsession. One night I realize she hasn&#8217;t been around for awhile. But I don&#8217;t care. I&#8217;ve made a breakthrough. Suddenly, I can see four, sometimes five moves ahead. I am beating players who used to beat me. It all amounts to a few dollars a night, enough for four gallons of gas (24 cents a gallon) and a hot roast beef sandwich at the Cube Steak Diner on Sixth Ave with a little profit left over. But the prestige is enormous. I still haven&#8217;t traveled the light years to the main tables, but I&#8217;ve moved up to one that had enough spill to illuminate half the board. I am greeted as I walk into the park. I see the weaker players talking about me.</font></p>
<p align="left">&nbsp;</p>
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