BANKERS BEG FOR BAILOUT:
IT’S A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH
Cambridge, England, Feb.26th…Bankers all over the world face imminent death if the current banking crisis is allowed to continue, according to a joint World Bank and World Health Organization study issued today.
Drawing on 40 years of data the study concluded that a “system wide” financial upheaval could cause tens of thousands of deaths” through heart attacks brought on by stress and anxiety.” The Bank urged that Governments act quickly to transfer billions to bolster troubled banks, warning that: “Five or six thousand of the richest men in the world could die instantly unless the widespread panic and hysteria is contained.”
Alone protester marched outside the World Bank Headquarters. Leach Schildkraut of the Anarcho-Feminist commune carried a placard, reading: “Die Bankers Die.”
She accosted several young banking executives on their lunch break. “Millions in the developing world have died because of your greed and outright criminality,” she shouted.
One of the bankers began to hyperventilate and a team of security officers quickly escorted Miss Schildkraut to a barricade across the street.
JAPAN VERSUS CHINA
DUMPLING DIPLOMACY BOILING
Tokyo, March 1st…. Japan’s National Police Agency lodged an official protest today over China’s refusal to clamp down on purveyors of poisoned dumplings.
So far ten Japanese of have sickened after eating contaminated dumplings made in China. This came after numerous illnesses were reported from eating eels and tuna also imported from China, which is the world’s largest exporter of seafood products used in sushi, the Japanese national dish.
“The dumplings were laced with pesticide,” Japanese Police Commissioner Aki Toro said. “Chinese police have refused to cooperate in the investigation. This could escalate into a diplomatic crisis.”
“The Chinese are trying to poison us,” accused Yakima Agedofu, national commander of the Japanese Defense Forces during a cabinet meeting yesterday. “This is their way of getting revenge for the Rape of Nanking…”
After his remarks were made public, Mr. Agedofu was dismissed from his post by Prime Minister Fukuda, who said: “You can’t get revenge for something that never happened.”
Later that evening Mr. Agedofu was found dead in his office with ten empty packages of dumplings by his body.
Hey Heywood, love the blog. Can’t stop reading or watching you through binoculars. Maybe that means I can’t stop stalking but I don’t see a difference!! LOLLLLLL.
Hm… all in all I’m agree with you, but your readership… what are they gonna say about it?
I can’t worry about it.
Sounds perfect to me. I have read this post with a great pleasure. You should write much more often.
I write three or four a week