NEW YORK, N.Y., May 20…The era of the “financial superclass” is over, Anarcho-Feminist Presidential candidate Leah Schildkraut declared today.
At the head of a small but boisterous crowd, Schildkraut invaded the floor of the NY Stock Exchange and vowed that her first action as President will be to “dismantle the triple entente of banks, hedge funds and private equity and redistribute the wealth and property they have plundered.”
Schildkraut brought trading to a halt as she launched into a diatribe against the “greedy global elite that has robbed hundreds of millions of families across the world of their natural rights.”
Quoting from an article by David Rothkopf in the Financial Times, she said that the top 50 financial institutions control almost $50,000 billion in assets. “This means that fifty CEOS control almost one third of the entire global economy,” she said. The top one hundred hedge funds control 60 per cent of the trillions of dollars of assets.
“There has never been such a concentration of financial power in history,” she said. “Neither Hitler nor Stalin nor the ruling dynasties of the world empires had such total dominance over the lives of so many hundreds of millions.” She pointed a warning finger at the brokers and blue smocked specialists. “You have been allowed to manipulate the world economy,” she said. “While lobbying against regulation of the markets you have profited from the socialism of the rich in which you depend on governments and international financial bodies to subsidize your speculation and cover your mistakes. While condemning the welfare state you have created the moral hazard in which you make reckless bets with baseless derivatives because you know the monetary system will have to bail you out or face ruin.”
Some brokers and specialists made frantic calls for “Security!” But others, anticipating a momentary plunge in the market due to Schildkraut’s tirade, called short sales into their cell phones.
“You have created a system where you make billions whether the markets go up or down,” Schildkraut shouted over the anxious cries of the short-selling brokers.
“30 years ago multinational CEOs made 35 times the wages of the average employee,” she said, quoting the Rothkopf article.”Today it is more than 350 times Meanwhile, the world’s 1,100 richest people have twice the assets of the poorest 2.5 billion…”
Within minutes the shorts sales caused the market to edge down. The volume skyrocketed as the large institutions began to liquidate positions. Losers were outnumbering winners ten to one.
Schldkraut pointed around the room. “This place is a necrotic tumor on the body politic,” she said.
Some brokers at the fringe of the crowd immediately ran to liquidate their pharmaceutical stocks.
Schildkraut was interrupted by Efraim Durg, candidate of the Gambler’s Rights party “These people are creating wealth for the masses,” he shouted.” You want to replace them with bureaucrats and bean counters.”
There was a sudden run on Agra stocks.
“They are driving up the prices of food and fuel and the basic necessities of life,” Schildkraut answered. “But on January 1, 2009 the people will rise up…”
Durg jeered. “They’ll rise up and ask for a good tip on the market…”
By now the trading floor was pandemonium as prices zig-zagged wildly. Fortunes were being made and lost.
“Kill her,” shouted the losers.
“Schildkraut for President,” laughed the winners.
A phalanx of Security Officers followed by NYPD, Homeland Security, FBI and the Pentagon Special Ops rushed onto the floor to evict Schildkraut.
She tried to reason with them. “How many of you can make your mortgages? How many have maxed out your credit cards? Don’t be stooges for the rich…”
“Did you call me a stooge?” A Security officer shouted. He tased Schildkraut, she crumpled to the floor.
“What are you doing?” Efraim Durg shouted, running to her aid.
“I thought she was pulling a weapon,” The Security oficer said.
Cops rolled the stunned Schildkraut onto her stomach and snapped cuffs and shackles on her.
“You don’t have to be so rough,” Durg said.
A Security officer jumped at him, red-faced. “Are you with us or against us?” he yelled.
hey hey woody
how dillusional on the lack of elitismxx
xx
julie
Hey julie. They never liked me anyway.